Reunited with a precious book

Almost lost this book. Seems a bit fussy for a book, especially one on marriage for a single man! But this book holds a special place in my life. Let me walk you through and maybe you will end up getting a copy.

Living in a Godly Marriage by Prof Joel Beeke from Puritan Reformed Seminary, and his co author. Although I was a medical student at the time, fate has it that I was able to attend Prof Beeke's intensive course on Puritan Theology at the International Reformed Evangelical Seminary. A full week with the world leader in puritan thought, what a treat! During breaks, there would be book displays, and this boring white and green book seemed to pop amidst the colorful and academic display of puritan eschatology, biblical anthropology, and the likes. It kept flirting with me, I had a sense that this is going to be one of those life changing books. An impulsive purchase later, the book was all mine.

A little background so you (the reader, of course, who else...) will make some sense of the significance of this book in my life. My parents had just (very abruptly) divorced in late 2019, had a (very, extremely, insanely, unbelievably) messy, lengthy and traumatic settlement. Then in mid 2022, my father passed away by suicide after chronic struggles with his mental health, and here I am on a long academic leave (mainly to recuperate psychologically so I wont get a diagnosis myself), holding this book in my hand. I wanted to live Godly in anything EXCEPT marriage, no way I am going to be anywhere near that thing (although at the time I was praying with someone, I believed that I just needed time). In this blog, I'd like to share a short but life changing exchange with the author himself. Maybe in upcoming blogs I will share a bit about the content of this book.

No, you're not dyslexic, he just has really bad handwriting. It says. Dear Kenneth, Follow God fully (Num 14:24), 8il Hie. Not sure who 8il Hie is, probably a half vietnamese half computer Prof Beeke met earlier. On that short exchange, I had asked Prof Beeke that a "friend of mine" asked me, why marry when there is such a high risk of divorce, and went on to tell the story of "this friend of mine" who had undergone so many unpleasant experiences in the last, 2,5 years or so. He listened very attentively, probably saw through my gimmick, looked me straight in the eye, stared into my soul and said, "Because God is faithful to His promises and decrees, we are just to follow God fully". I nodded and said that I will forward that to this friend of mine, He nodded and gave a cheeky smile.

I can still remember his convincing fatherly voice, I can even still hear it at times (probably auditory hallucinations, a symptom of schizophrenia, strong genes here). Following God fully means joyfully pursuing Him and His glory in every part of our lives. This has guided me through this book twice, and I hope to be reading it with a dear friend in the coming months. I'll share about a poem I wrote on marriage after reading this book, I hope it warms your heart to love Christ through living in a Godly marriage.

What is the most beautiful marriage here on Earth,

compared to our eternal marriage with You, oh God.

Its span, just a speck buried in an endless line.

Its glory, just a flicker blinded by a constellation of stars.

Its joy, just a tiny drop drowned in an ocean of ecstasy.

This dainty dot, this lackluster light, this shallow stream, this momentary marriage,

You have ordained.

Not as an end to itself, but as a means for an infinitely greater end,

our greatest joy imaginable in Your infinite glory.

Prime our hearts exclusively for You, oh beautiful God!

Help me love my wife as You have loved us,

and help her submit to me as we should submit to You.

We plead that we may know You, touch You, embrace You through this marriage!

Prime our hearts, oh God!

- Kenneth Tan